vagina is talking i cant
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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