i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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