He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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