She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
