we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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