Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
