i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
