I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
