Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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