i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
