so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
