I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
