watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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