So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
