Ambien. No doubt about it.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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