you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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