where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
