does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
