Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
