i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
