I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
