That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
And then my night got REAL pukey
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize