Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
