I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
