I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
