Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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