I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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