the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
