I must be too annoying 4 u.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
