were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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