I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize