God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
