you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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