At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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