You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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