Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize