my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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