super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
