this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
