She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
