i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize