He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
