I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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