everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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