There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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