I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When did angry sex become our thing?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
COCAINE IS GR8
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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