I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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