I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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