oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
