it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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