people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
