my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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