I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
