Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
