your thong is hanging out like whoa
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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