i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
