she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
