We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
