apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
