He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize