there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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