i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
