On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
