my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
