Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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