One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I wish there were birth control emojis
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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