That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize