Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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