Farmville is her only friend.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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