well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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