six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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