I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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