It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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