walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
