Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
